My sister had suggested at one point in time that the house should just be dozed in.  I thought that I might get renter who wanted to work on the house and I would give him a major discount on the rent.  I had one couple that was going to move in, but they found a better deal.  I had another couple to look at the house, but they declared that house was almost worthless and it needed too much repair.  I had another couple look at the house and said about the same thing.  I asked another individual about the value of the house and he said he didn't think it would be worth very much.

    What was I going to do with this problem which I had inherited?  After the colon surgery, I didn't feel much like doing a lot of physical labor.  I just let it sit for almost nine months; however, I felt that I needed to do something one way or the other either to allow my cousin who operated the farm land to use it as a hay barn, to doze it in, to rent it, or to try to sell it.  I did not want to take the time or energy to be responsible for the continued upkeep. I believed that God wanted me to spend my time in counseling and other ministry.  Furthermore, my physical endurance level was still not up to par.

    When I mustered enough courage and energy to investigate more about what to do.  I found that weeds had grown up to almost waist high in the yard and around the house.  I hired a friend to begin to help me in doing some repairs.  It was hard work and I found more things need to be repaired than what I had even dreamed about. I also hired others who did not complete the repairs which they were paid to do.  A number of things went wrong along the way.  One day, I was working on the house by myself and grumbling about this albatross which I had inherited.  It was then that God began to speak to me.  I thought, I didn't ask for the problems with the house.  It was given to me.  I maybe should have done something sooner, but now that was water under the bridge.  O.K., God what value is there in this?  How can you work all this mess this for my good, my benefit?  Several other people had suggest that the house might be of value, but it was difficult for me to see beyond the problem of the need for repairs.  I could see money going out, but it was difficult for me to see much coming back in.  God then spoke to me about the principle of investment.  You invest in order to make a gain.  I had to do the investing, but He was responsible to bring the gain through my faithfulness.

    After some more additional repairs, I contacted a real estate agent to see what the value would be for this big old house and a couple of acres of property.  Much to my surprise, the agent informed me that because of the size of the house and the location, that the house would be more than twice the value I thought it might be.  He said that with some more repairs and the property cleaned up, the house would be worth about three times the value that I initially thought that it might worth.  Praise the Lord!  I couldn't wait to tell my wife.  :-)

    Like the Realtor, I am telling you that your life has much value.  Furthermore, if you continue to work at it and allow God to do the repairs, then your life will be of even greater value even beyond you greatest dreams.

    Although we don't have a specific record of king Saul being abused as a child, he manifested some of the symptoms of being emotionally abused.  Saul's father, Kish, was a mighty man of power (I Samuel 9:1).  It may have been that Kish was too busy to be available for his son, Saul.  It may have been that Saul could never live up to his father's expectations.  Saul seemed to be somewhat fearful of his father.  When Kish's donkeys were lost, he told Saul to take one of his servants to find them.  Saul and his servant searched extensively, but could not find them.  Then Saul gave up and told his servant, "Come, let us return; lest my father leave caring for the asses, and take though for us" (I Samuel 9:5).  The servant, however, was not so willing to give up and suggested that they see the prophet, Samuel.  Saul timidly responded that they had nothing to pay the prophet.  This may have been an indication in Saul for a need to please others.

    Saul was also a head taller that the other young men.  It may have been that he was big and clumsy as a boy and got teased about it.  We simply don't have a record.  Samuel, the man of God, began to work with Saul by revealing that he was a seer (a prophet) and demonstrated his prophetic ability (I Samuel 9:19-20a).   Samuel told Saul that he would eat with him the next day, that the donkeys were found, and that he would reveal what was in Saul's heart.  God sent Samuel to give him a positive self image even before his negative self image is clearly revealed in Scripture.  Samuel told Saul, "And on whom is all the desire of Israel? Is it not on thee, and on all thy father's house?" (I Samuel 9:20b).  In other words, "You will be the most desired person in Israel.  People will desire to be a part of your family"  However, Saul responded, "Am not I a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel? and my family the least of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin? wherefore then speakest thou so to me?" (I Samuel 9:21).  I think that this was more than just humility, I think that it was a poor self esteem, a poor self image.  I think it reveals bruises to his identity.

    Look at the way Samuel dealt with this young man Saul.  This man of God invited the young man along with thirty other special guests to a banquet.  Samuel began to chip away at Saul's bruised personality by bringing him and his servant into the parlor and setting them in the most honored of seats before the other guests (I Samuel 9:22).  Samuel also had the servant to serve Saul the best portion of the meat.  Wouldn't that make your feel important?  The Samuel, the man of God, also gave Saul a personal, private audience.

    Samuel then excused the servant, anointed, and kissed Saul and told him, "Is it not because the LORD hath anointed thee to be captain over his inheritance?" (I Samuel 10:1).  Next, the prophet told Saul that he would meet some other prophets and they would prophesy.  It must had been in the heart of Saul to be with the prophets and be as one of them.  Samuel told Saul that he would be given a new identity and he would become "another man."  He said, "And the Spirit of the LORD will come upon thee, and thou shalt prophesy with them, and shalt be turned into another man.   And let it be, when these signs are come unto thee, that thou do as occasion serve thee; for God is with thee" (I Samuel 10:6-7).   God then fulfilled the word of the prophet.  "And it was so, that when he had turned his back to go from Samuel, God gave him another heart: and all those signs came to pass that day" (I Samuel 10:9).  God brought the nobody, Saul, to the place of recognition with the prophets.  People said, "What is this that is come unto the son of Kish? Is Saul also among the prophets?" (I Samuel 10:11b).  The spot light was embarrassing to the young man, so he went and hid himself.

    Samuel gathered all the tribes of Israel together, found Saul, and brought him to stand before the people.  "And Samuel said to all the people, See ye him whom the LORD hath chosen, that there is none like him among all the people? And all the people shouted, and said, God save the king" (I Samuel 10:24).  Almost immediately, Saul became a mighty king of Israel.

    Unfortunately, Saul chose not  to recover from his bruised identity.  He became very jealous of David.  He felt like he had to perform and didn't wait upon Samuel and offered a sacrifice himself..  He was greedy and took some of the spoil from battle which he was suppose to destroy.  Finally, he committed suicide by falling upon his own sword.

    Gideon is another example of someone with bruised emotions. The Midianites had come into the land of Israel to oppress them.  They far outnumbered the Israelites, stole their livestock, and destroyed their crops.  Gideon, an Israelite, had managed to hide some wheat and was threshing it while hiding in a winepress.   "And there came an angel of the LORD, and sat under an oak which was in Ophrah, that pertained unto Joash the Abiezrite: and his son Gideon threshed wheat by the winepress, to hide it from the Midianites" (Judges 6:11).  Now look at how the angel of the LORD deals with him.  "And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him, and said unto him, The LORD is with thee, thou mighty man of valour" (Judges 6:12).  God begins to speak "life" into this fearful young man.  I have had people who were beaten down come for counseling, but as I would begin to give them vision of what God's purpose was for them as found in their names, almost immediately I will see a change in them.  Gideon was not a man of "valor", but was soon to become one.

    Look at Gideon's response.  "And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the LORD be with us, why then is all this befallen us? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt? but now the LORD hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites" (Judges 6:13).   He immediately began to question the presence of God and the power of God.  A counselee may exclaim, "I don't see God in my life.  Neither do I see God in the lives of other Christians that I know."    However, the angel of the LORD, just ignored his question, but set a task before him.  "And the LORD looked upon him, and said, Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee?" (Judges 6:14).  I can almost hear the elders or deacons in the church say, "Why that kid is not worthy to be given something to do." "He hasn't been to seminary yet."   "He doesn't have any experience in leadership."  "Besides that, he is a coward."   "No one will follow him."

    Look at Gideon's own response.  "And he said unto him, Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house" (Judges 6:15).  Here, he reveals how he sees himself.  He reveals his bruised identity. He sees himself as a nobody, when God saw him as a somebody.  Again, God ignores his excuses and redirects his attention to who will be with him and what he can do with God being with him.  "And the LORD said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites as one man" (Judges 6:16).

    At this point, Gideon begins to take his focus off himself, but wants proof that God will be with him.  "And he said unto him, If now I have found grace in thy sight, then shew me a sign that thou talkest with me" (Judges 6:17).  The angel of the LORD put forth the end of the staff and a fire consumed the food which Gideon prepared for the angel.

    "And when Gideon perceived that he was an angel of the LORD, Gideon said, Alas, O Lord GOD! for because I have seen an angel of the LORD face to face.  And the LORD said unto him, Peace be unto thee; fear not: thou shalt not die.  Then Gideon built an altar there unto the LORD, and called it Jehovahshalom: unto this day it is yet in Ophrah of the Abiezrites" (Judges 6:22-24).  Jehovah-shalom means "I AM peace".

    God then gave Gideon a specific job to do.  He told Gideon to take two of his father's bulls and use one to pull down the altar of Baal.  God also told him to cut down the grove of evergreen trees next to the idol and build an altar to God.  Then he was to take the second bull and offer it as a sacrifice upon the altar.  Gideon took ten men of his servants for security and tore down the altar to Baal and did all that God told him to do.  The amazing thing was that when the men of the city discovered what Gideon had done, they became furious. They immediately went to Gideon's father to get him to release his son that they might kill him.  Joash, Gideon's father, told the men to let Baal fight for himself if he is offended.  In essence, when Gideon obeyed God, God gave Gideon favor in the sight of his father.  When the Midianites and the Amalekites and the children of the East came up to battle against the Israelites, the Spirit of God came upon Gideon causing him to blow the shophar (ram's horn).  The result was that God caused 32,000 men to gather together to fight.  However, even with 32,000 men, Gideon was far outnumbered by the enemies.  "And the Midianites and the Amalekites and all the children of the east lay along in the valley like grasshoppers for multitude; and their camels were without number, as the sand by the sea side for multitude" (Judges 7:12).

    God's goal was to have Gideon to take his eyes off himself and to begin to focus upon HIM.  "And Gideon said unto God, If thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said,   Behold, I will put a fleece of wool in the floor; and if the dew be on the fleece only, and it be dry upon all the earth beside, then shall I know that thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said. And it was so: for he rose up early on the morrow, and thrust the fleece together, and wringed the dew out of the fleece, a bowl full of water" (Judges 6:36-38).  God doesn't get mad when we focus on Him and ask Him to prove Himself.  Gideon respectfully asked God next to do just the reverse by making the ground to be wet and leaving fleece dry.  Again, GOD honors Gideon's request.

    God again spoke to Gideon and told him that he had too many men (32,000) although he was outnumbered by the enemy.  Gideon told everyone that was afraid to go home and 10,000 went home.  Then God tells Gideon that he still has too many men.  They are to go a reservoir of water and there God tells Gideon to watch the men.  Those who lapped the water as a dog, Gideon was to keep, but those who got down on their knees and used their hands to get the water, Gideon was to send home.  All but three hundred were sent home.  (Judges 7:4-8).

    To encourage Gideon even more, God gives a man a dream about a cake of barley bread rolling in to the tent of the Midianites and destroying the tent.  The interpretation of the dream was that Gideon, as the cake of barley bread, would destroy the Midianites.  We should see that God is willing to go out of His way to encourage (put courage in) those who are bruised, if they are willing to follow Him and be obedient to Him.

    God then sends Gideon with the 300 men each with a lamp, a trumpet, and a picture (vessel).  Basically they surrounded the camp of the Midianites and the Amalekites in the middle of the night, blew the trumpets, broke the pictures where the lamps had been hidden, and shouted "The Sword of the LORD and of Gideon".  The enemy, being startled and afraid, cried and ran for their lives right into the hands of Gideon and his men who were ready with their swords.  God gave Gideon and his men a great victory.

    Later, because Gideon was obedient and recovered from his bruised identity, God also placed him as a Judge over the nation.

    David worked with some bruised men who had a very poor self-image.   "And every one that was in distress, and every one that was in debt, and every one that was discontented, gathered themselves unto him; and he became a captain over them: and there were with him about four hundred men" (I Samuel 22:2).  Many of these men became the mighty men of God and of David.  To learn how that took place see: Standing In The Winner's Circle.

   After God reveals Himself to us, encourages us, and gives us His promises, if we continue to focus on ourselves, we will come to a place of great fear and destruction.  Moses sent twelve spies into the promised land of Canaan.  They returned with a report that the land indeed flowed with milk and honey and much fruit.  However, look at the different reports. "And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it.   But the men that went up with him said, We be not able to go up against the people; for they are stronger than we.  And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight" (Numbers 13:30-33).  Joshua and Caleb saw that God could easily enable them to conquer the land.  However the other  ten spies brought back and "evil report" declaring that were like "grasshopper" before giants.  You will note that Joshua and Caleb had their vision on God, but the rest had their vision on themselves. Look at what Joshua said, "If the LORD delight in us, then he will bring us into this land, and give it us; a land which floweth with milk and honey" (Numbers 14:8).    The consequence was that the ten caused the nation to wander in the wilderness for forty years until they and the older generation died.  However, God permitted Joshua and Caleb to enter the promised land at the end of the forty years of wandering.