Many adults can trace their own anger, discouragement and depression back to the way that their fathers or other authority figures treated them as children.
Colossians 3:21 states, "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest thy be discouraged."
Here are some ways that a father may avoid provoking his child to anger:
1. He should keep the promises that he makes to the child.
2. He should be gentle and fair in his discipline.
3. He should keep the standards for the child low enough that the child can attain them.
4. He should be consistent in his discipline.
5. He should live by the standards that he imposes upon the child.
6. He should encourage and verbally bless the child.
7. He should make time to give the child the proper amount of attention.
8. He should give the child his loving affection.
9. He should discipline the child, when he, himself, is in a calm state of mind.
10. He should avoid showing favoritism with the other children.
1. Forgive the person who has offended you. (Matthew 6:12, 14-15, 18:21-35).NOTE  We should ask the Holy Spirit to bring to our minds each and every hurtful memory that we have experienced, that we may, by God's grace, walk through these steps and receive healing for every one of them. (Romans 8:16).a. Others2. Place the judgment of the offender into God's hands and ask Him to forgive them. (Luke 23:34, Acts 7:60).
3. Confess your own sins to God: unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, hate, revenge, thoughts of murder, suicide, guilt, fear, etc.a. Ask God to forgive you and to cleanse you. (I John 1:9)4. Ask God to heal you of the hurts through the suffering of Jesus and by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Luke 4:18, Isaiah 53:4, Psalm 147:3) (Pray until you are healed).
(A wound needs to be cleansed of dirt before it can be healed).
b. If you feel that anger or something else is still there, then:
(A wound needs to be cleansed of infection also).(1) Bind the spirit in the name of Jesus. (Matthew 12:29, 16:19)
(2) Command it to leave in the name of Jesus. (Mark 16:17)
(3) Then ask the Holy Spirit if you are clear of the spirit.
(4) If you are not clear, then that spirit is attached to another.
(5) Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the other spirit.
(6) Then bind and cast all of them out in the name of Jesus.
5. Ask God to fill your heart with his love and power of the Holy Spirit so that you can view the memory through God's love and from His perspective of truth. (Ephesians 3:17-19). (We have a tendency to color our memories).
NOTE  The Holy Spirit will comfort us and guide us through each memory as we invite Him to do so. (John 14:18)
NOTE  God doesn't want to waste any of our experiences of hurts, freedom and healing, but wants us to share them with others as directed of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 8:28-29, II Corinthians 2:15).
One of the most important, but yet the most neglected way to influence positive change in the life of a child is to speak blessings over the child. To bless means to speak good rather than evil, to encourage rather than discourage, to project success rather than failure, to give faith rather than doubt, to instill boldness rather than fear, to impart hope rather than distress, and to share love rather than neglect.
Here is a brief outline for blessing a child. First, prayerfully discern the natural and spiritual giftings of the child. Second, prayerfully look at the child's potential by the grace of God and though faith. Third, formulate the blessing in a written form. Fourth, place your hands upon the head of the child. Fifth, speak the blessing over the child and repeat it periodically for reinforcement. Blessing a child both encourages and gives a child a strong sense of direction. Since God works through the established authority of parents, God will also work in the life of the child toward fulfilling the blessings that the parents speak over the child.
Speaking blessings over a child is like prophesying over the child (see Ezekiel 37:4 for an example of speaking a prophesy). Let us look at how Isaac bless Jacob (Genesis 27:28-29). Isaac blessed Jacob by saying that God would give him the dew of heaven, the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine. Jacob was to let people serve him and nations honor him. Even his brothers were to honor him. Isaac also placed a curse upon those who would curse Jacob and a blessing on those who would bless him.
In Genesis 27:38-40 we see that from Esau's reaction just how significant a father's blessing is. We should understand that the custom was that the elder son was to receive the greater blessing; however, Jacob had deceived his father into blessing him as the elder son. In Genesis 48:14-20 we get a picture of how Jacob (Israel) blessed the sons of Joseph by placing his hands upon their heads. Then in Genesis 49:22-28 we see Jacob also blessing Joseph.
In the New Testament in Luke 2:34, we see Simeon, an aged saint, blessing both Mary and Jesus. "And Simeon blessed them, and said unto Mary his mother, Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against" (Luke 2:34).
In Psalms 126:1-6, David reminds his hearers that God has delivered them in the past and that they have sung songs and rejoiced over what God has done. In verse four, David begins a prayer for God to deliver them again. Next, he ties the sowing of seed to prayer. "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed shall doubtless come again rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." Sowing is praying. The seeds are the prayers.
To sow in tears means that you have come to the end of yourself. You have tired every thing, and nothing seems to work. You are "poor in spirit" (Matthew 5:2). You are destitute! The roof is falling in, the walls are collapsing, and the bottom has dropped from beneath your feet. You are detached from self! You have come to the end of your rope. There is nothing left to hold on to. However, you also have come to a dependence upon God! Now you are ready to experience kingdom living. You will reap in joy!
However, we must "go forth and weep". We may not have because we have not asked (James 4:2b). Praying is asking! "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" (Matthew 7:7-8). We must humble ourselves in order to pray (II Chronicles 7:14). We must "go" to God and ASK. We ask "weeping". David declared, "In my distress, I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me" (Psalm 120:1). We must realize that there is no hope outside of God.
Furthermore, we are to go to God "bearing precious seed." Again, the seeds are our prayers. At one point when we were praying for a church building, the Spirit asked me, "What is your greatest asset?" It wasn't finances. It wasn't people who had finances to purchase a building. It wasn't even the number of people that we had. Our greatest asset was, and still is prayer. Jesus said that His Father's house is to be a house of prayer. Through prayer all things are possible! God literally gave us the church building that we had been praying about. The seed is precious!
Here are some additional factors that make the seed precious. "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" (James 5:16b). First, this is a prayer of a Believer who has been made righteous in Jesus Christ. Second, this is a prayer that is initiated by, directed by, and energized mightily by the Holy Spirit. Third, it is a prayer that has manifested effects. Another precious seed is a prayer of faith. "Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them" (Mark 11:24). We should also pray according to the will of God as found in His word. "And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him" (I John 5:14-15). Still another precious seed is a prayer that is prayed in the name of Jesus. This means more than attaching his name to it. It means that we are praying in his behalf as he has given us a power of attorney. "And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you. Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full" (John 16:23-24).
Paul wrote by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap" (Galatians 6:7). If we sow the precious seed of prayers, we can expect an harvest! We shall doubtless come again rejoicing, bringing our sheaves with us.
How big of a harvest do we want? The harvest will come in proportion to our sowing. "In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whither shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good" (Ecclesiastes 11:6). There is no option of a crop failure! When we plant good seed in the fertile soil in heaven where the climate is perfect, and there is the rain of the Holy Spirit and the light of the Son, there is no question of a crop failure. The critical question is how much did we plant? Did we really expect a harvest? Paul wrote, "But this I say, He that soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully" (II Corinthians 9:6).
When the harvest comes we can rejoice! Jesus said, "If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you" (John 15:7). "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full" (John 15:11).
Furthermore, we not only receive the harvest of our prayers, but others also can see the harvest and desire the blessings of God. Jonah's prayer was answered when he prayed in the belly of the fish that he might be a mighty witness unto Nineveh. God also answered the pray of Elijah to raise the son of the widow from the dead that she might believe God (I Kings 17:20-24). We should remember that God desires to confirm His word. "And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following. Amen" (Mark 16:20).
*** Please understand that when anger is turned inward, one begins to have suicidal thoughts.
1. Jonah got angry when God told him to go to Nineveh and "cry against it.
a. CAUSE = Jonah knew that God was a gracious and merciful, and slow to anger, and of great kindness; therefore, if Nineveh repented, God would not destroy it.(1) Jonah took up offense for God.b. RESULTS
(2) Nineveh didn't deserve to be warned.
(3) Jonah took up for fairness.(1) Jonah ran from God.
(2) Jonah ran from the Word of God.
(3) Jonah asked for death = "Cast me forth into the sea."
2. Jonah got angry when Nineveh repented and God did not destroy them.
a. CAUSE = Jonah preached only a message of destruction without3. Jonah was exceeding glad for the gourd, but became angry when the
preaching anything about the grace, mercy, or forgiveness.(1) This time Jonah's word was at stake.b. RESULTS
(2) Jonah pride was on the line.(1) Jonah was exceedingly displeased.
(2) Jonah was very angry.
(3) He wished that he was dead.
(4) He isolated himself from everyone.
a. CAUSE = He had felt like the gourd had become his possession.(1) He had lost his protection.
(2) He felt he had a right to have a shade.
b. RESULTSGOD'S ANSWER = Jonah needed to get his priorities straight. He could have done this by yielding his personal rights to God. When we don't yield our personal rights to God, then we often must face the roaring lion of suicide. (I Peter 5:7-8).(1) Anger had become his friend.
(2) He felt he had a right to be angry.
(3) Suicidal thoughts increased ("unto death")
1. Yield the right of fairness (or righteous indignation).
2. Yield the right of personal self-esteem.
3. Yield the right of personal possessions.
Do you have difficulty understanding how you can sin, as we all do, and still remain a child of God? Are you confused about how you can have victory over the desires of the flesh? God's Word says, "And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ" (I Thessalonians 5:23).
The answer may be as easy as, "One, Two, Three". However, many people, often including Christians, miss it. Here it is: "We are made in the image of God." This means as God has three dimensions: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we also have three dimensions: spirit, soul, and body. The Word tells us that we are to be the temple of God. The Old Testament Temple had three basic parts: the outer court, the Holy Place, and the Holy of Holies. We also have three basic parts: the body, the soul, and the spirit.
The author of the book of Hebrew gives us another picture of the three parts. "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12). The picture is of the flesh, the bones, and the marrow. The flesh is the body, the bones is the soul, and within the bones is the marrow which represents our spirit.
One purpose of the body is for physical awareness. We have the five physical senses of seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, and touch. A purpose of the soul, which is made up of the mind, will, and emotions, is for self-awareness. A couple may go a movie and both watch the same thing, but one may cry and the other laugh. Why, because each has had different experiences and respond differently. One purpose of the spirit is a God-awareness or a relationship with God. Jesus said, "God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth" (John 4:24).
When one receives Jesus as his Lord, God saves and gives new life to his spirit. Jesus came to give us life in the spirit-man. "And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit" (1 Corinthians 15:45). However, the salvation of the soul is a daily process. The Word says, "Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls" (James 1:21). Then, when Jesus comes again the person will experience the complete salvation of his body. The Word says, "For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens" (II Corinthians 5:1).
In truth, the Believer is saved in his spirit. He is being saved day by day in his soul. And shall be saved one day in his body. When a believer understands this, he is freed from guilt and confusion to submit his mind, will, and emotions unto God and have victory over the desires of the flesh.
My office is located near the edge of town where there is some pasture land. If I would leave the door to the building open overnight there is a strong likelihood that the next morning I would find a skunk in the building.
The Scripture indicates that if we become angry and stay angry overnight that we also leave the door to our soul open for the devil to enter. "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil" (Ephesians 4:26-27). The word "place" implies the idea of property. When we keep an attitude of unforgiveness, anger, or bitterness toward someone, we give the enemy permission to set up squatting rights within our soul.
In fact, Jesus gives us a parable in Matthew 18:21-35 about unforgiveness. Jesus said that there was a king that had a servant that owed him about $20 million dollars, but the servant could not pay the debt. When the servant begged the king for more time to pay, the king realizing that he could never pay the sum, forgave the entire note. However that servant had a fellowservant that owned him less than $20. dollars. When the fellowservant begged that servant for an extension on the debt, the servant became angry and put him in jail. When the king found out what his servant had done, he also became angry and turned the first servant over to the tormentors until he could pay the debt. Of course this would be impossible.
Jesus concludes by stating that our heavenly Father will turn us over to the tormentors (or evil spirits) if we are not willing to forgive others when He has forgiven us. These tormentors may take on the form of a spirit of bitterness or depression, a disease (especially arthritis or gallbladder problems), nightmares, or guilt. For more information on opening the door to the enemy see: "The Open Door".
Furthermore, when we hold unforgiveness toward another we are led into all kinds of temptations by evil spirits. Even in the model prayer Jesus warns us in Matthew 6:12-15 "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Forgiveness is never deserved, but a grace that we
receive from God which we are to share with others. "And be
ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God
for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32). We are to
forgive others by the grace of God, because God has forgiven us.